Are unhealthy friendships sabotaging your recovery from Fibromyalgia?
If you are suffering with Fibromyalgia, I am willing to bet that you are a sounding board for everyone else’s problems. While we take care of our own issues, and consult a professional when necessary, we allow others to dump their troubles on us. And, we take on their issues as if they are our own. Am I right?
There are many reasons we have fallen into this role…
1. Dealing with Fibromyalgia requires cultivating self-awareness and embracing self-healing. We have learned a lot and have great wisdom to share.
2. We are very sensitive to the energy of others (their feelings and emotions) and have a strong urge to help.
3. We understand what it is like to suffer greatly. As a result, we feel a high level of compassion and understanding towards others.
4. Because Fibromylagia is debilitating, we often feel useless. Helping others makes us feel worthwhile.
The list of reasons we have for sabotaging our own health, by maintaining unhealthy friendships, is endless. But we must choose to stop this vicious cycle. No good can come from keeping a connection to someone that is damaging to our health and psyche. We must learn to break those ties and move forward.
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Here is a list of signs that your friendship is unhealthy:
1. They are not supportive of your commitment to healthy eating even though it improves your stamina, decreases your pain, and allows you to cope better.
2. They talk only about themselves. Conversations revolve around their drama. They are never open to listening to what you are dealing with.
3. They cannot accept that you have chosen not to engage in negative thinking and behaviors, including gossiping over a cup of coffee.
4. They do not get in touch with you while you are experiencing a flare-up. While you may not feel up to a phone call, a quick email never hurts.
5. They are jealous when you can’t work. They do not sympathize with the fact that you would love to be fulfilling your ambitions.
6. They tell you stories about other people with Fibromyalgia that can work and are doing much better than you are. They don’t understand that the condition fluctuates, varies and is on a spectrum.
7. They expect you not to do anything that you enjoy because you are sick and should act sick.
8. They are not supportive of the ways in which you are choosing to heal and refuse to acknowledge when your health is improving. They think they know what would work better.
9. They make general comments about people being lazy and about pain being all in one’s head in hopes that you will listen to their sage advice, without taking offense.
We all make excuses for the people in our lives, especially those that we love. But the truth is that letting go of and healing from poor friendships is essential. It is one of the most miraculous ways of healing our heath and lives.
It allows us to focus on ourselves as well as the precious friends that have our best interests at heart. There is never a good reason to allow someone to belittle you. Fibromyalgia is a difficult condition to manage, the best of times. There is no room for subjecting ourselves to unhealthy friendships.
If you have Fibromyalgia, I suspect that you are uneasy about confronting this type of friend. You don’t have to. It is not necessary or advisable. Weeding out the unhealthy relationships in your life can be done relatively easily, and quietly. You already know which of your friendships is unhealthy because that person sucks the life out of you.
Extract yourself from their lives. You don’t have to announce your intentions. You don’t have to hate them (that would not serve you in any way). You don’t have to do anything other than withdraw. Trust me, when you stop allowing them to dump their troubles on you, they will find someone else to play that role.
Send them love from your big heart. Wish them well on their journey. Release them from your soul’s path. Move on. And enjoy the great friendships that you do have!
Love always,
Asetha
Source:https://shinysoulproject.com/2013/05/27/unhealthy-friendships-and-fibromyalgia/

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